~ Badges & Badgering ~
What a waste of a perfectly good morning. Even though it’s my own fault for opening my mouth. I didn’t realize that giving Tucker, my pack brother, a bit of advice yesterday would end up with him and myself spending the morning (right after breakfast, mind you) having our picture(s) taken.
You’re probably wondering what’s the big deal about having our pictures taken. Well, the three involved are canines. Trying to stay still over and over again. Attempting to follow multiple overlapping instructions. All hurriedly delivered by two increasingly frustrated adult two-leggeds. It’s hard to endure. Dad once told me W.C. Fields loathed working with small children and animals. Not offended, I completely understand.
Picture Taking is a total mystery to four-leggeds. On occasion pack-Mom and/or Dad will point their talk and talk box at us, giving us an endless stream of commands and suggestions. Mom also tries to demonstrate somewhat effectively what exactly they want us to do.
Of course, Mom always tries to share with us the results on her little box. Tucker and I pretend to be pleased and amazed at whatever she’s trying to show us. Pru licks the screen. Keira always thinks Mom is giving her something to play with.
You’re probably curious what the occasion was that warranted all the hullabaloo. It started yesterday with Pru (surprised?), pestering Tucker to make her a deputy sheriff.
You see, Tucker has been the honorary sheriff of our pack for years now. He’s always had a penchant for taking care of the home pack and the foster puppies that passed through our lives. Keira, our family’s red Golden, was not only a present for Mom but for Tucker also.
He loved each of the service Goldens we’ve raised and, of course, he pined for them when they moved on. It was natural for him to want to share his duties with Golden pack-sister.
Well, Keira became a deputy for the pack, but it’s mostly ceremonial. She’s basically Mom’s official gardening escort and morning coffee confidant. Keira also likes to show off to Pru when they go out the back door, by whirling in circles and barking at nothing in particular. She just likes to announce to the natural world that she is on duty.
I guess Pru, who looks up to her older sister Keira (even though Pru picks on Keira from time to time), started to want a formal title and job of her own, too.
Poor Tucker had to not only listen to quite a lengthy presentation from Pru yesterday about all of her qualities and “Darn good reasons” that she should be sworn in as a Deputy, like Keira.
Tucker also had to fight to hold his tongue, as he was in a surly mood to begin with. He told me later that he had to keep in mind how sensitive Pru’s feelings are, even though as a Max-Pin Paradox breed, she’s pretty tough and athletic.
Tuck told me that his mind just kept whispering, “Not a snow cone’s chance in Hades” as Pru listed endless reasons why she should be part of the pack enforcement team. To top if off, Keira was on the other side of the big pine tree engaged in non-Deputy behavior. (Editor’s note: See Tucker’s own account at tinyurl.com/3v3hcj7a)
When Tucker finally managed to break away, he came to me at a loss as how to handle Pru’s request without causing strife in the pack. This is where I shot my mouth off trying to help.
Back when I was navigator in the big truck with Dad, I remember him regaling me with tales of the Adirondack Mountains, which included mentions of a conservation officer he was friends with.
So… I said to Tuck, “Why not swear in Pru as a conservation officer?”
Even though I couldn’t quite remember exactly what all that involved, Tuck took to the idea and ran off to tell Pru. Hence this morning’s ruckus in the living room for a quick swearing in and chaotic photo shoot for posterity.
Dad even dug out an antique, leather-mounted conservation officer badge he had and let Pru wear it for a while. Dad had to take it off for safekeeping when he saw Pru taunting Keira with, “How is it you don’t have a badge like I do? Must be Dad likes me best. Too bad you don’t have a badge. Mom took pictures of me with my badge for posterior. Too bad nobody took pictures of you with a badge.”
So, if the morning wasn’t bad enough, Pru was on my heels for a couple of hours, making sure I wasn’t doing anything that could be considered a non-conservation activity.
Eventually she got bored with me and pestered Dad with a thousand questions, interspersed with requests to see her badge again.
Dad got pretty exasperated and tried to pawn Pru off to Mom, but Mom’s quick on the uptake and she deflected. (Ball is back in your court, Dad.)
He finally convinced Pru to check on Keira outside, and the moment Pru was out of hearing range (upright ears? Add thiry feet), Dad beelined to Tucker, who was lying in front of the floor fan.
“You need to rein in your new officer a bit, Tucker,” Dad said firmly.
“I am empowered by the county, and I believe Pru is under Federal jurisdiction,” Tuck said without raising up or even opening his eyes.
Ball is in your court, Dad.
~ Hazel Bazel Rocket Dog ~
